more than just a talk radio show
As men, we are accountable to each other for one very important reason- wisdom.
Wisdom is best defined as “the sum of learning through the ages.”It’s essential for us as men to be able to learn from each others experiences. I like to think of it as starting at the end of a problem, and working through it via someone elses experience. That is how you heal from emotional scars, and most importantly, prevent bad things from happening in your life: outbursts of anger, rage, frustration, discouragement, and tension in your relationships.
This world puts a lot of pressure on us men. We start to feel trapped and misunderstood by everyone. We get frustrated by our wives/girlfriends and anyone else who has expectations of us. We feel uncertain about our future, career, money… it makes us angry.
You need to stop making excuses for your life. You need to get this crap off your chest, whatever it is. Otherwise, it’s going to lease space in your head and own you. It will absorb all of your strength. You can’t blame anyone else for this but yourself.
As men, we have a responsibility to each other to offer insight, experiences, and life lessons. If you sense another guy might have something eating him up inside, why not offer a listening ear? And if you are that guy dealing with rage, why not look to other men for help? Someone you look up to. A family member. A friend. A father figure. You just might be surprised at the support you’ll get.
We often get calls from men asking, “Why am I so pissed off? Why am I always so angry?” These men find themselves with no vision in life, and even worse, no plans. They need to realize that a conversation needs to take place within them – an inner dialogue.
The New Year is a perfect opportunity to reconcile your anger. I work through my own anger every day! How? By taking a step back and examining what’s going on in my life. So, take a look at 2010. How was it for you?
Guys, if you don’t take some time to reflect on any issues that get you riled up, they will continue to resurface, and you will find yourself in a downward spiral. By living an unexamined life, you are more prone to bouts of depression, fear, anger, resentment, bitterness, and a predisposition to drugs and alcohol. (Yes, it’s okay to enjoy a drink now and then – here at Rage Radio we don’t oppose moderate alcohol consumption – but dependence is an entirely different issue altogether.)
We have to man up! We have to be strong. Our wives, girlfriends, and/or children look up to us to be leaders. They want to take comfort in our leadership, and if they can’t, they suffer from our stress too. Our responsibilities to them are the responsibilities that come with being a man. Being strong doesn’t mean you should ignore any potentially damaging issues going on in your life. You can’t meet your responsibilities by just waking up in the morning, putting on your pants, haphazardly walking out the door, and turning your back on the people and issues that need your attention. By doing this you are leaving it all up in the air, and setting things up to fall apart.
If something is dragging you down or making you pissed off, don’t let it brew. You have to sit down and address these things, with yourself or with other men. That’s why we’re here! Join Remember, Rage Radio is for men and men only! No balls, no calls!
We received a lot of feedback from you all on the subject of men taking a leadership role by not compromising their strength… which brings me to now ask you: Would you consider yourself strong? I’m not talking about necessarily being able to bench press 300 pounds at the gym or carry your grandmother’s refrigerator up a stairway… I’m talking about individual strength. Your individual strength is the key to your feeling of joy and freedom!What is individual strength? Being soulfully strong.
I believe that so many men are unhappy with their lives because they don’t know they are strong… being soulfully strong means:
1. Stand strong in your convictions! This means being strong willed, strong in your decision making, strong in setting goals and achieving them, and strong in planning!
2. Do not be afraid to communicate your strength!I know what you’re thinking. Every time you try to stand strong, someone is always there calling you stubborn, opinionated, and hard headed.
Well, the secret to avoiding this is as simple as one three-letter word:“WHY?”You need to effectively communicate the “why” behind your convictions. This will make people understand your point of view and the code you live by. But, if you dig your heels in without explaining WHY, you will be perceived as hard headed.
So, the next time someone calls you stubborn because you won’t give in, back up your reasoning by explaining WHY.As for physical strength: When you are young, it is your responsibility to learn your own physical strength and test it. You have to work out – get yourself in peak physical condition and continually work the limits of your strength. The older we get, we have to rely less on the physical strength and focus more on the soulful strength. We realize and accept certain things that we were “born into” – our DNA, genes, family… we learn to work our own personal strengths to compensate for things we cannot change and when we are finally mature men, we can hopefully recognize and learn to avoid our own weaknesses…So what compromises both your physical and your soulful strength?
-Drugs
-Too much alcohol
-Worrying too much about what others think
-Past baggage
-Worrying that you are “too” something, such as too skinny, too young, too ugly, too short, too much like your father, etc.
It is when we don’t know our own character or what we stand for that we become miserable, and everyone around us suffers because of it. Do you know who you are? Let me get you started by telling you what you are NOT:You are NOT:
-Your job
-Your family
-Your country club membership
-Your religion
-Your sports team
So, guys, if all this “stuff” was taken away, could you handle it? These things do not make your character. Your strength makes you who you are and defines who you are becoming. Let me share my formula with you for figuring out who you are as a man:
1. Solitude: It begins with solitude.The only way to find out who you truly are is to spend some quality time in solitude (yes, ALONE) and that concept completely terrifies most men. Most of us spend all our time at work and with family, we barely have any time for ourselves. So take some time for yourself every day, every week, every month, every year – to truly get to know yourself.
2. The Likes & Dislikes List:Get a pad of paper and draw a line down the middle. Write the word “likes” on the left and “dislikes” down on the right. Then, spend about 20 minutes filling it in with whatever comes to mind… (for example, I like dogs, dislike cats, etc.). An important part of getting to know yourself is taking a look at what you like & what you don’t like, and noticing patterns within these preferences.
3. Play the game of “Take Away”:In your mind, take away all the material things that make you: your job, your car, your home, etc. Who are you after all that? Do you still like yourself? If not, on a second piece of paper write down some things you would need to change to begin to like the you without all that stuff.
So if you like working out at the gym to build and maintain your physical strength, keep it up…but don’t forget to work your soulful strength too, because in the end, it’s all you’ve got… Your soulful strength is who you are, and perhaps more importantly, who you were. Man up! Til next week!
On Rage Radio, we don’t talk about sports very often. But, I would like to use the big game to drive a point home about the condition of men.Men need a good battle in their lives. That’s why we take “the game” so personally.
Football has all the makings of a good war:
-Fight for territory
-Calculated gains/losses
-Injuries on the battlefield
-Winners and losers
-Bragging rights
We draw a lot of excitement and passion from these things. But unfortunately, we don’t tend to carry the same kind of passion in our personal lives, with things like:
-Career
-Girlfriend/spouse
-Family life
-Success
Instead, so many men are disenchanted with their personal lives and angry about their place in the world. When the “big game” is long over, after the screaming and cheering on the couch, it’s back to real life again – nothing more than leftover chicken wing bones and spilled beer on the carpet.
Most of us don’t have jobs that will bring us fame, fortune, or a Super Bowl ring. So how does that make us feel?Maybe if we could take that spirit of the game, and use it to put some of that fire back into our own life’s goals, we could find passion in our lives again. It’s time to analyze your game.
Let’s evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Your career: Are you happy? Are you reaching your potential? Your family: Are they feeling your passion and excitement? Your partner: Do they feel appreciated by you?Once you’ve done that, it’s time for kickoff.So what’s in your playbook? You know those goals we always ask you to set for yourself here at Rage Radio? They’re all live balls in the field of play. Now it’s up to you to gain some forward momentum and push that ball down the field.You can’t do it alone. Your friends and colleagues? They’re your team. Your family? They’re your biggest fans. Your mentors? They’re your coaches. And combined, they’re even more important to this game than you: the QB. So speed up your offense and strengthen that defense. Remember that only you can control your clock- no one else. You are always a free agent. Despite what it may seem sometimes, no one owns you but you.In the game of life, there are no limits to the number of downs. You have to have the strength to recover that ball and put it back into play as often as you like. Unfortunately, there are also no referees in life. But there will always be interferences. There will always be rivals, unnecessary roughness, blitzes, and your opponent staring you in the face, trying to intercept your goals and sack your ambition. These are all inevitable challenges of life.But when you have your team, your fans, your coaches… you have the home field advantage. When you come to the realization that the passionate fight belongs in your own life just as much as it does with your fantasy football draft, then you’ll find yourself really scoring those touch downs. So what do you think?Maybe by next year’s Super Bowl, the victory you celebrate won’t be just the NFL Champion’s, but yours as well.
RAGERadio 